how should we revise the first or the second draft?
whether a beginner or a professional, every writer must revise, that is, go back over the first draft or the second draft of a thesis, rewriting unclear sentences, adding details or examples, crossing out unnecessary words or ideas, and perhaps rearranging parts. in other words, never hand in the first version of any paragraph or essay, but revise then rewrite, creating the best paper of which you are capable.
brainstorm reasons for revision
features of effective sentences
1.unity is the first quality of an effective sentence. a unified sentence expresses a single complete thought. e.g. :
faulty: du fu was one of the greatest poets.
revised: du fu was one of the greatest poets of the tang period.
2.coherence means clear and reasonable connection between parts. e.g. :
faulty: a man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds.
revised: a man is judged not only by what he says but also by what he does.
3.conciseness: a sentence should contain no unnecessary words.
4.emphasis: when there is an important idea, it should be expressed with emphasis.
5.variety is essential to good writing. (short: long; simple: compound and complex; statement: question, command or exclamation; periodic: loose…)
6.consistency: all good writing is consistent. that is, each sentence and each paragraph in the final draft should move along smoothly, without confusing shifts in tense, number, person, or discourse. e.g. :
faulty: we stroll down bourbon street as the jazz bands began to play.
revised: we strolled down bourbon street as the jazz bands began to play.
revision
after you have taken a break, you can criticize and make changes on the first draft.
you might notice these problems:
the beginning of the paragraph isn’t very lively.
the wording in several sentences sounds too informal or even babyish.
the relationship between ideas could be clearer
more details could be added in a few spots or taken out in others.
there are a few spelling or punctuation errors.
suggestions
go back to revise your first draft one or more times. it may necessary to rewrite the paper after you’ve made changes on the original version, and then to make further changes on the rewritten version. at various stages in the revising process, read your paper aloud – and read the final version to someone else if possible.
the final draft
after you feel satisfied with your revisions, you can then make a clean copy of the final draft according to the format your instructor recommends. that, basically, is how the writing process works. first, you discover and begin to organize your ideas. next, you write a first draft. and finally, you revise it as many times as necessary to make it clear, lively, logical, and legible.
summary
in the writing process, you should consider your subject, your audience, and your purpose;discover your ideas by putting them into words;decide what to include and how to organize it;write a first draft (and don’t worry about making it perfect);take a break, then criticize and revise the first draft (making changes on the original if you wish);read your paper aloud, preferably to another person;
proofread the final draft for spelling errors, repeated words, or words left out.
polishing
recopy your final draft, and then proofread it for words left out, words repeated, spelling errors, and punctuation errors.