I am not young enough to know everything.
我已經老了，沒有足夠的時間去了解一切。
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying.
我簡直太聰明了，有時連我自己都不知道自己在說什麼。
I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
我有一個重大發現——如果攝入足量酒精，就會產生各種陶醉的效果。
I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me.
我喜歡對一堵牆說話，世界上只有它不會反駁我。
I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
我喜歡看戲。與人生相比，戲劇更加真實。
I often take exercise. Why only yesterday I had breakfast in bed.
我經常鍛鍊。只是昨天我是在床上吃的早飯。
I think that God, in creating Man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
我想，上帝在創造人類時高估了他的能力。
I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.
我整個早上都在校對自己的一首詩，我去掉了一個逗號。下午我又把它加上去了。
Ignorance is like a delicate flower: touch it and the bloom is gone.
無知就像是一朵精緻的花朵：摸一下，它就消失了。
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.
這是一件很悲哀的事——如今幾乎沒有無用的信息。