When I was nine years old I went off to summer camp for the first time. And my mother packed me a suitcase full of books, which to me seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do. Because in my family, reading was the primary group activity. And this might sound antisocial to you, but for us it was really just a different way of being social. You have the animal warmth of your family sitting right next to you, but you are also free to go roaming around the adventureland inside your own mind. And I had this idea that camp was going to be just like this, but better. (Laughter) I had a vision of 10 girls sitting in a cabin cozily reading books in their matching nightgowns.
當我九歲的時候 我第一次去參加夏令營 我媽媽幫我整理好了我的行李箱 裡面塞滿了書 這對於我來說是一件極為自然的事情 因為在我的家庭里 閱讀是主要的家庭活動 聽上去你們可能覺得我們是不愛交際的 但是對於我的家庭來說這真的只是接觸社會的另一種途徑 你們有自己家庭接觸時的溫暖親情 家人靜坐在你身邊 但是你也可以自由地漫遊 在你思維深處的冒險樂園裡我有一個想法 野營會變得像這樣子，當然要更好些 (笑聲) 我想像到十個女孩坐在一個小屋裡 都穿著合身的女式睡衣愜意地享受著讀書的過程。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Camp was more like a keg party without any alcohol. And on the very first day our counselor gathered us all together and she taught us a cheer that she said we would be doing every day for the rest of the summer to instill camp spirit. And it went like this: "R-O-W-D-I-E, that's the way we spell rowdie. Rowdie, rowdie, let's get rowdie." Yeah. So I couldn't figure out for the life of me why we were supposed to be so rowdy, or why we had to spell this word incorrectly. (Laughter) But I recited a cheer. I recited a cheer along with everybody else. I did my best. And I just waited for the time that I could go off and read my books.
野營這時更像是一個不提供酒水的派對聚會 在第一天的時候呢 我們的顧問把我們都集合在一起 並且她教會了我們一種今後要用到的慶祝方式 在餘下夏令營的每一天中 讓“露營精神”浸潤我們 之後它就像這樣繼續著 R-O-W-D-I-E 這是我們拼寫“吵鬧"的口號 我們唱著“噪音，喧鬧，我們要變得吵一點” 對，就是這樣 可我就是弄不明白我的生活會是什麼樣的 為什麼我們變得這么吵鬧粗暴 或者為什麼我們非要把這個單詞錯誤地拼寫 (笑聲) 但是我可沒有忘記慶祝。我與每個人都互相歡呼慶祝了 我盡了我最大的努力 我只是想等待那一刻 我可以離開吵鬧的聚會去捧起我摯愛的書。
But the first time that I took my book out of my suitcase, the coolest girl in the bunk came up to me and she asked me, "Why are you being so mellow?" -- mellow, of course, being the exact opposite of R-O-W-D-I-E. And then the second time I tried it, the counselor came up to me with a concerned expression on her face and she repeated the point about camp spirit and said we should all work very hard to be outgoing.
但是當我第一次把書從行李箱中拿出來的時候 床鋪中最酷的那個女孩向我走了過來 並且她問我：“為什麼你要這么安靜?” 安靜，當然，是R-O-W-D-I-E的反義詞 “喧鬧”的反義詞 而當我第二次拿書的時候 我們的顧問滿臉憂慮的向我走了過來 接著她重複了關於“露營精神”的要點並且說我們都應當努力 去變得外向些
And so I put my books away, back in their suitcase, and I put them under my bed, and there they stayed for the rest of the summer. And I felt kind of guilty about this. I felt as if the books needed me somehow, and they were calling out to me and I was forsaking them.But I did forsake them and I didn't open that suitcase again until I was back home with my family at the end of the summer.
於是我放好我的書 放回了屬於它們的行李箱中 並且我把它們放到了床底下 在那裡它們度過了暑假餘下的每一天 我對這樣做感到很愧疚 不知為什麼我感覺這些書是需要我的 它們在呼喚我，但是我卻放棄了它們 我確實放下了它們，並且我再也沒有打開那個箱子，直到我和我的家人在夏末的時候一起回到家中。
Now, I tell you this story about summer camp. I could have told you 50 others just like it --all the times that I got the message that somehow my quiet and introverted style of beingwas not necessarily the right way to go, that I should be trying to pass as more of an extrovert. And I always sensed deep down that this was wrong and that introverts were pretty excellent just as they were. But for years I denied this intuition, and so I became a Wall Street lawyer, of all things, instead of the writer that I had always longed to be -- partly because I needed to prove to myself that I could be bold and assertive too. And I was always going off to crowded bars when I really would have preferred to just have a nice dinner with friends. And I made these self-negating choices so reflexively, that I wasn't even aware that I was making them.
現在，我向你們講述這個夏令營的故事 我完全可以給你們講出其他50種版本就像這個一樣的故事-- 每當我感覺到這樣的時候 它告訴我出於某種原因，我的寧靜和內向的風格 並不是正確道路上的必需品 我應該更多地嘗試一個外向者的角色 而在我內心深處感覺得到，這是錯誤的內向的人們都是非常優秀的，確實是這樣 但是許多年來我都否認了這種直覺 於是我首先成為了華爾街的一名律師 而不是我長久以來想要成為的一名作家 一部分原因是因為我想要證明自己 也可以變得勇敢而堅定 並且我總是去那些擁擠的酒吧 當我只是想要和朋友們吃一頓愉快的晚餐時 我做出了這些自我否認的抉擇 如條件反射一般 甚至我都不清楚我做出了這些決定。