1、two hearts beating
nurse: how do you feel after your operation?
patient: quite alright, only i can feel two hearts beating inside me.
nurse: no wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.
兩顆心臟在跳動
護士：手術後你感覺怎樣？
病人：十分好，只是我能感覺到我體內有兩顆心臟在跳動。
護士：怪不得給你做手術的大夫剛才在到處尋找他的手錶。
2、the first time
patient: i'm so frightened, this is my first operation.
surgeon: i know just how you feel. this is my first operation, too.
第一次
病人：我很害怕，這是我第一次動手術。
外科醫生：我完全理解你的心情。這也是我第一次動手術。
3、be much worse
policeman: why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
man: if i had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. that would be much worse.
可能更糟
警察：當你的手錶被搶的時候，你為什麼不大聲喊叫呢？
男士：如果我張嘴喊叫，他們就會發現我的四顆金牙。那樣情況就更糟了！
4、his fault
billy: mother, bobby broke a window.
mother: how did he do it?
billy: i threw a rock at him and he ducked.
他的錯
比利：媽媽，波比打壞了窗玻璃。
媽媽：他怎么打的？
比利：我向他扔石頭，他躲開了。
5、modern life
two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.
"we've been married fifteen years," one woman said, "and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food."
"how terrible!" exclaimed the other. "does it bother you?"
"why should it bother me?" her friend replied. "if he can't only stand his own cooking?"
現代生活
兩個老朋友分別多年之後又見面了，很快就開始談起各自丈夫的缺點。
“我們結婚十五年了，”一個婦女說道，“每天晚飯後，我丈夫總要抱怨飯菜。”
“真可惡！”另一個驚呼道。“難道你不煩嗎？”
“我煩什麼？”她的朋友答道。“他不過是忍受不了自己的烹調技術。”
6、telemarketer
i answered the phone one evening and quickly realized the voice on the other end belonged to a telemarketer.
"good evening," he said, "may i speak with leah jonason?"
"she is a baby, " i replied.
"all right," said the caller, "i'll try again later."
電話推銷員
一天晚上我接了一個電話，對方的聲音使我很快意識到他是個電話推銷員。
“晚上好，”他說，“我想和利厄喬納森說話。”
“她是個嬰兒，”我回答說。
“沒關係，”他說，“我以後再打。”
7、an energetic wife
neighbor: i heard a big noise in front of your house last night. what happened to you?
husband: it was nothing. my wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.
neighbor: your overcoat? but how could it make such a noise?
husband: i... i happened to be inside the coat.
精力旺盛的妻子
鄰居：昨天夜裡我聽見你家屋前有很大的聲音，你們出了什麼事嗎？
丈夫：沒什麼。我的妻子有點不高興，把我的大衣給扔到窗外去了。
鄰居：你的大衣？扔掉大衣怎么會有那么大的聲音？
丈夫：我......我恰好也在大衣裡面。
8、friend for dinner
"honey," said the husband to his wife, "i invited a friend home for supper."
"what? are you crazy? the house is a mess, i haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and i don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"i know all that."
"then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
請朋友吃飯
“親愛的，”丈夫對妻子說：“我邀請了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。”
“什麼？你瘋了嗎？我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒有買過東西回來了，所有的碗碟都是髒的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。”
“這些我全都知道。”
“那你為什麼還要邀請朋友回來吃晚飯？”
“因為那個可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結婚呢。”
9、good advice
the portly sales manager was getting ready to leave his doctor's office after a routine examination. "here," said the doctor, "follow this diet, and i want to see three-fourths of you back here for a check-up in three months."
忠告
臃腫的銷售經理做過常規體檢後，正要離開大夫的診室。“聽著，”大夫說，“遵守這個食譜，我希望3個月後再來這兒體檢時能見到四分之三的你。”
10、she'd rather buy a gift
while on a trip, mom realized that she had forgotten a present for dad's birthday. "that's okay," he said, "the only thing i want is for you to love, honor and obey." mom pondered that idea and then replied "i'd rather buy you a gift."
她寧願買一件禮物
旅途中，媽媽想起她忘記給爸爸買一件生日禮物。"沒關係，"他說，"我最想要的東西是你的愛、忠貞和溫順。"媽媽沉思片刻後回答說，"我寧願給你買一件禮物。"