我的生涯中第一次為師的經驗(my first career experience as a teacher)
tongue plugged, face blushed, scalp tingled, direction messed, these are the words i want to use to describe my first work experience .i think the words mentioned above are the key words. you may think it’s exaggerated, oh no, that’s just the point.
during the first summer holiday after graduation, i was wandering how would i be looked like as a teacher standing before my own students ?you know ,a month ago i was a student ,a month later i would be a teacher. how to balance the great contrast? i had a whole month to make sure all embarrassing situations would be considered .eventually, each situation i didn’t want to encounter i had fond the resolution in my mind. so, what should i do next would be put them on implementation.
as you know, things often develop out of the imagination of your will. it’s a routine, so without exceptions, i was trapped in the routine too. with a big “wa o!” come from students, i walked into classroom. that’s my first step facing students as a teacher .i know what did it mean, really, i was too young to be their teacher and looked just like an old brother. after a brief introduction of myself, i was ready for playing my role as the teacher. i thought it would be easier to run out of time, if you want to play irresponsibly. because students didn’t have any expectation on such a young fellow . but i had the ambition to play good then. to be a puppet or to be a motor, i chose the latter, alone had been deduced enough on platform as i used to see. but be interactive with students is hard for a green hand teacher, i learned that 15 minutes later after my first step in the classroom. collect the response from students, then make your own response through your fluent expression, hold the tempo in the classroom, those were what i want to do. but i had to face the fact it’s hard for me. too embarrassing, right? in the beginning i can handle, after a while, i found my frustration. without experiences to deal with broken mind, i stood on the platform like a fool. it’s hard to ensure continuity, because you have to clear up the messed up mind unceasingly. after several round robin, i was almost beaten down, lost my tempo wholly.
“tongue plugged, face blushed, scalp tingled, direction messed”, anything worse? “calm down 、reset ……”, oh, god! a spectacular mental war was going on in my mind. finally, compromise with the fact that i am a green hand is the only choice, the capability made me down. but it’s an excuse taking capability for response, i know the truth, i hasn’t get ready then .how pity i was, and how pity my student were!
i regarded it as my savior, the school bells. but not truly, i can’t be saved from the blame of my conscience. i must show my appreciation to my students, thank for their tolerance、apprehension, and so on. but it’s hard for me to forget myself, i was not ready. that’s not only an embarrassing situation, it’s a shame. after then, in spite of the fact that i carry on my lecture better and better, the impression of bottom line show is always knocking as alarm bell when i stand on platforms.