當我病了的時候
【內容提示】
你因某種疾病在醫院住了幾天。在病床上，除了受著病的折磨你還覺得非常孤寂，十分想念老師和同學。病情稍一好轉你就要求出院。你剛回到家正準備複習功課時有人敲門。你開門一看，來的是班主任老師和幾個同學。這時你的心情十分激動，見到了好幾天不見的同學、老師的那種喜悅之情真是用言語無法描述。
【作文示範】
When I Was Ill
Five days ago, I had a terrible headache and ran a high temperature. The doctor told me to stay in hospital. These days I was very lonely, I stayed in the sick bed and looked at the white ward ① quietly every day. I couldn＇t help thinking of my teachers and classmates.
When I felt a little better, I wanted to leave hospital at once. One afternoon the doctor agreed that I could leave. It meant I would see my friends again next day! On my way home, I found the air outside was nice and fresh.
As soon as I arrived at home, I was busy going over my lessons. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. “Who is it?” I thought. When I opened the door I shouted,“Jiang Min!”She was my best friend. Behind her were my head teacher Mr. Hu and some of my classmates. “Come in!”I said with a big smile. How surprised and happy I was! One of them said, “You were ill in hospital, weren＇t you? We were sorry to hear that.” Another one smiled, saying, “We went to the hospital just now, but you had already gone.” Mr. Hu said, “We all hope you will get well soon. Welcome back to school.” I was so excited that I didn＇t know what to say or what to do. I only said, “Thank you for coming to see me. Thanks a lot.”Theyalso asked about my illness and told me to have a good rest and not to worry about the lessons. Then they said good-bye to me.
I looked at the food they had brought to me.“How kind they are!”I said to myself, “I must make up for ② the lessons I missed. I will try my best and study harder.”
【詞語解釋】
①ward [w&:d] n. 病房
②make up for彌補
【寫法指要】
按理說，人病了應該是一件悲傷的事，但是本文作者選擇的題材恰恰是從其反面切入，寫的是喜悅的心情。這是作者選材的成功之處。文章用了漸進（climax）的巨觀修辭手法，使喜悅心情由低潮逐漸達到高潮，這點可以從幾處的選詞和手法看得出來：nice and fresh（第二段）→surprised and happy（第三段前半部分）→so excited（第三段後面）→How kind they are!（結尾段）。這真可謂匠心獨運的手筆！