there were many vestiges of houses everywhere.people never gave up to look for.
suddenly,“there was a dead woman.”a person said loudly.
this woman kneeled down.a big rock was on her body.and it changed her body's shape.she was like protecting something .she was a monument.
“i was sure that she was a mother.” this person said again.finally,he found a baby.
that doctor examined him in a hurry.and he is alive and not hurt.the doctor saw a letter was beside his clothes.the letter said“dear baby:if you are alive,you must remember i love you.”
this was what she used life to write.the sentence made all people cry sadly.
in sichuan,a young life stayed at 14:28 on may 12 in XX forever.
she proved what a real mother this is to us.she is also our mother.
mum,you are on your way to paradise! please go well.
郵編：073100
河北省保定市曲陽縣第二初級中學東校區八年級（3）班 崔曉彤 指導教師 ：葛靜敏
批 改 老 師tianya0595評分91分級別優秀批改
go well
there were many vestiges (1)of houses everywhere.people never (2)gave up to look for(3).
suddenly,“there was (4)a dead woman.”a person said loudly.
this woman kneeled down.a big rock was on her body.and it changed her body's shape.she was like protecting something .she was a monument (5).
“i was (6)sure that she was (7) a mother.” this (8)person said again.finally,he found a baby.
that (9)doctor examined him in a hurry.and he is alive and not hurt (10).the doctor saw a letter was beside ⑾ his clothes.the letter said“dear baby:if you are alive,you must remember i love you.”
this was what she used life to write.the sentence made all people cry sadly.
in sichuan,a young life stayed at 14:28 on may 12 in XX forever.
she proved what a real mother this ⑿ is to us.she is also our mother.
mum,you are on your way to paradise! please ⒀ go well.
(1) vestige更多的是指“歷史遺址”，建議改為：ruins（廢墟）
(2) never “從不”，建議改為：didn't “沒有（放棄）”
(3) “放棄做某事”give up doing sth. ；此處應改為：give up searching（放棄搜尋）
(4) 一般來說，對話中的句子用一般現在時，以表示對話的情景性。
錯誤(4)、(7)中的was均應改為：is；(6)was應改為：am
(5) monument（紀念碑）；可能小作者的願意是想說“她就像一座紀念碑”：she was like a monument.
(8) (9) person、doctor都是第二次出現，而且表特指，前面最好用冠詞：the
(10) alive是形容詞，而hurt是動詞；前面是肯定含義，後面是否定含義，不能用and表並列；應改為用but錶轉折關係
此處可改為：he was alive but didn't get hurt
(11) beside（在……旁邊），疑此處應是inside his clothes（在衣服裡面）
(12) this 在這裡是多餘的，應去掉
(13) please 是第一個單詞，首字母應大寫：please
可能小作者對於電子文檔的排版還不熟悉，應重新排版。
參考例句(文)
1. what a great mother!
多么偉大的母親！
2. she will be alive in our heart for ever.
她永遠活在我們心中。
3. she protected her baby at the last moment of her life.
在她生命的最後一刻，她護住了自己的孩子。