i love meeting new people, even if it makes me a little nervous. but one set of words that i hear at mixers and networking events makes me really want to run for the hills. you may have uttered these words. and i want to share some alternatives with you, so that you’ll make more connections, rather than having people dash off.
我喜歡認識新朋友，即便這會讓我感到有些緊張。但從交友活動中聽到的一些話讓我真想逃之夭夭。你也許會說出這些話。我希望和你分享一些別的說法，這樣你會交到更多的朋友而不是讓人們對你避之不及。
last night, i attended a fun networking event in berkeley, full of people who are on linkedin. the event was hosted by ilene koehler, who set us up in speed-dating fashion, to mix and mingle for five minutes per “couple,” and then move on. i noticed that three of the people i met immediately introduced themselves by saying something like this:
昨天晚上，我在伯克利參加了一個有趣的交友活動。很多人是linkedin社交網站的網友。 這次活動的主持人是ilene koehler。她主持我們進行速配約會，每“一對”交流五分鐘，然後換不同的對象。我發現我見到的人中有三個直接這樣介紹自己：
“hi. i’m john doe. and i’m unemployed.”
“嗨，我叫john doe，我沒工作。”
shoot, this isn’t an aa meeting. but those initial words left me feeling awkward and sorry for my fellow networkers. somehow, i felt obligated, like i was supposed to help out. the energy between us felt heavy. so i actually told one of these networkers, “hey, you shouldn’t say your unemployed. say you’re between jobs. or tell people that you’re looking for a new job in whatever field you’d enjoy.” he got the point immediately. he smiled. he felt better about himself.
暈，這不是一次aa制聚會。這樣的開場白讓我覺得窘迫，並為同來的人們感到抱歉。不知為什麼，我覺得我必須幫助他們。我們兩人之間的氣氛變得很凝重。於是我告訴其中一位：“嘿，你不必說自己沒有工作。說你正在求職。或者告訴別人你正在尋找一份自己喜歡的工作。”他立刻明白，笑了笑，覺得輕鬆多了。
you see, saying “i’m unemployed” tells people what you’re not. and, in this case, it communicates “i’m not employed.” to me, saying “i’m unemployed” sounds a little bit like you don’t feel like you fit in with the world. look, my friends, your self-worth is not determined by your job.
你看，說“沒有工作”是在告訴別人自己“不是什麼”。 此時，它傳遞的是“我沒有工作”的含義。但是對我而言，它聽上去有點像是你覺得自己沒有融入這個世界。嗨，朋友們，你的自我價值不是由你的工作決定的。
i invite you to consider what really makes up your self-worth—like your caring heart, or your ability to stand tall in the face of adversity. but please know that you are not a social misfit just because some company has not decided to bring you on board. or some organization decided to let you go. a company is not your family, believe it or not. so, if you don’t “belong” to a company, you’re still a living, breathing, talented human being.
請你想一想到底是什麼構成了你的自我價值——比如：關愛之心、面對逆境堅強不屈的精神。但是要知道，僅僅是某公司沒有錄用你或者當某個企業讓你走人並不表明你是社會中的“另類”。公司不是你的家，信不信由你。所以，如果你不“屬於”一個公司，你還是一個活著的、呼吸著的、有才華的人。