在現實當中，向他人求一封推薦信遠比電影裡演的困難。求推薦信的人因此經常勝出許多焦慮，找誰要?怎樣要?開口說什麼?其實，拿到一封出色的推薦信完全可以在你的掌控之內，沒有你想像得那么難，即便你不是富二代，即便你沒有家庭給學校雄厚的捐款做支撐。
下面給大家傳授三個技巧，確保你的導師、前任老闆、或者學術顧問給你寫一封讚揚信。
1.強調他們的資質
2.提供樣板
3.不插手過問
下面對每項技巧進行詳細分析：
強調他們的資質
當你問人要推薦信時，一開始你應先表明你非常看重他(她)的評價，非常尊重他們作為專業人士給出的意見，所以才選擇他們作為自己的擔保人，擔保自己會在接下來的專業領域裡努力。
除了抬舉推薦人，你還應該給出解釋，你為什麼認定推薦人具備獨一無二的資格來給你作評價，給你做引薦。你為什麼喜歡與他們(引薦人)共事?你為什麼那么在乎他們的評價?你如何敬仰他們?他們的資質是怎樣適合給你寫推薦或與自己將來的權威導師對話。
提供樣板
如果你沒有提供推薦信樣板給引薦人，讓他們寫出好好推薦信的幾率很低。況且這也是不經過思考的做法。人們最不願意做的就是花好幾個小時甚至好幾天來給你構思一份你本來自己都可以寫得更好的推薦信初稿。
所以，向你的推薦人提供樣本——可以是推薦信的大綱、要涵蓋的關鍵點、或者是寫好的初等任何你想在推薦信上展現的內容——是向人要推薦信的最有效途徑(而且這也顯示了你考慮過周到、為人體貼)。
不插手過問
最後，樣本給了推薦人，且讓推薦人明白這樣做是為了盡力減輕他們的工作，然後，是時候“交出政權”採取“不插手過問”的政策了。首先，給你的推薦人充分的自主選擇權，他們可以無條件地拒絕你;其次，假設推薦人同意給你寫推薦信，給他們足夠的空間，修改編輯你的樣本。你可以表達你對他們的信任，讓他們以自己的方式來修改推薦信。
下面舉例展示一下以上三點具體如何操作：
highlight their qualifications
dear john,
hello, i hope you are well. i am writing to ask a huge favor — i'm applying for a senior marketing position with merck and i was hoping you'd consider writing a letter of recommendation on my behalf. i always appreciated your perspective and judgment while working together. you have so much credibility within the product development space that i thought you'd be a perfect person to act as a reference.
provide a template
i have included a list of bullet points along with a draft letter you might consider using as a template. i'd like to make the process as easy as possible on you and i know it's hard to recall details about the many different projects we worked on together in XX and XX.
"no questions asked"
if for any reason you don't feel comfortable writing a letter on my behalf, i completely understand. if you are willing to do so, however, please feel free to take the attached sample letter and use it as a template however you see fit. i have tried to address my core strengths as a strategic thinker and team player and i have highlighted several marketing campaigns i'm particularly proud of. to the extent that you'd like to make any changes or modifications to the letter, please go ahead and do so. i trust that you'll include only those topics you feel comfortable commenting upon.
further, i would welcome the opportunity to see a copy of the letter, but i of course understand your position if you'd like to keep it confidential.
finally, finish your request with all the grace and charm you can muster — thank the other person profusely for their time and help and offer to make yourself available for any further questions he may have.
stay tuned for next week's post on how to write that template and make your reference letter stand out from the pack.