when judge thomas was made chair of the eeoc, i needed to face the question of whether to go with him. i was asked to do so, and i did. the work itself was interesting, and at that time it appeared that the sexual overtures which had so troubled me had ended. i also faced the realistic fact that i had no alternative job. while i might have gone back to private practice, perhaps in my old firm or at another, i was dedicated to civil rights work, and my first choice was to be in that field. moreover, the department of education itself was a dubious venture. president reagan was seeking to abolish the entire department.
for my first months at the eeoc, where i continued to be an assistant to judge thomas, there were no sexual conversations or overtures. however, during the fall and winter of 1982, these began again. the comments were random and ranged from pressing me about why i didn't go out with him to remarks about my personal appearance. i remember his saying that some day i would have to tell him the real reason that i wouldn't go out with him.
he began to show displeasure in his tone and voice and his demeanor and his continued pressure for an explanation. he commented on what i was wearing in terms of whether it made me more or less sexually attractive. the incidents occurred in his inner office at the eeoc.
one of the oddest episodes i remember was an occasion in which thomas was drinking a coke in his office. he got up from the table at which we were working, went over to his desk to get the coke, looked at the can and asked, "who has pubic hair on my coke?" on other occasions, he referred to the size of his own penis as being larger than normal, and he also spoke on some occasions of the pleasures he had given to women with oral sex.
at this point, late 1982, i began to feel severe stress on the job. i began to be concerned that clarence thomas might take out his anger with me by degrading me or not giving me important assignments. i also thought that he might find an excuse for dismissing me.
in january of 1983, i began looking for another job. i was handicapped because i feared that, if he found out, he might make it difficult for me to find other employment and i might be dismissed from the job i had. another factor that made my search more difficult was that there was a period -- this was during a period of a hiring freeze in the government. in february of 1983, i was hospitalized for five days on an emergency basis for acute stomach pain which i attributed to stress on the job.