ted英語演講稿範文4篇

簡介：受教育的機會並非人人都有，而在學校的孩子們是否都能學有所成?英國學校教育諮詢師sir ken robinson 幽默演講，如何逃出教育的“死亡谷“? 告訴我們如何以開放的文化氛圍培育年輕的一代。

thank you very much.

i moved to america 12 years ago with my wife terry and our two kids. actually, truthfully, we moved to los angeles -- (laughter) -- thinking we were moving to america, but anyway, it's a short plane ride from los angeles to america.

i got here 12 years ago, and when i got here, i was told various things, like, "americans don't get irony." have you come across this idea? it's not true. i've traveled the whole length and breadth of this country. i have found no evidence that americans don't get irony. it's one of those cultural myths, like, "the british are reserved." i don't know why people think this. we've invaded every country we've encountered. (laughter) but it's not true americans don't get irony, but i just want you to know that that's what people are saying about you behind your back. you know, so when you leave living rooms in europe, people say, thankfully, nobody was ironic in your presence.

but i knew that americans get irony when i came across that legislation no child left behind. because whoever thought of that title gets irony, don't they, because -- (laughter) (applause) — because it's leaving millions of children behind. now i can see that's not a very attractive name for legislation: millions of children left behind. i can see that. what's the plan? well, we propose to leave millions of children behind, and here's how it's going to work.

and it's working beautifully. in some parts of the country, 60 percent of kids drop out of high school. in the native american communities, it's 80 percent of kids. if we halved that number, one estimate is it would create a net gain to the u.s. economy over 10 years of nearly a trillion dollars. from an economic point of view, this is good math, isn't it, that we should do this? it actually costs an enormous amount to mop up the damage from the dropout crisis.

but the dropout crisis is just the tip of an iceberg. what it doesn't count are all the kids who are in school but being disengaged from it, who don't enjoy it, who don't get any real benefit from it.

and the reason is not that we're not spending enough money. america spends more money on education than most other countries. class sizes are smaller than in many countries. and there are hundreds of initiatives every year to try and improve education. the trouble is, it's all going in the wrong direction. there are three principles on which human life flourishes, and they are contradicted by the culture of education under which most teachers have to labor and most students have to endure.

the first is this, that human beings are naturally different and diverse.

can i ask you, how many of you have got children of your own? okay. or grandchildren. how about two children or more? right. and the rest of you have seen such children. (laughter) small people wandering about. i will make you a bet, and i am confident that i will win the bet. if you've got two children or more, i bet you they are completely different from each other. aren't they? aren't they? (applause) you would never confuse them, would you? like, "which one are you? remind me. your mother and i are going to introduce some color-coding system, so we don't get confused."

education under no child left behind is based on not diversity but conformity. what schools are encouraged to do is to find out what kids can do across a very narrow spectrum of achievement. one of the effects of no child left behind has been to narrow the focus onto the so-called stem disciplines. they're very important. i'm not here to argue against science and math. on the contrary, they're necessary but they're not sufficient. a real education has to give equal weight to the arts, the humanities, to physical education. an awful lot of kids, sorry, thank you — (applause) — one estimate in america currently is that something like 10 percent of kids, getting on that way, are being diagnosed with various conditions under the broad title of attention deficit disorder. adhd. i'm not saying there's no such thing. i just don't believe it's an epidemic like this. if you sit kids down, hour after hour, doing low-grade clerical work, don't be surprised if they start to fidget, you know? (laughter) (applause) children are not, for the most part, suffering from a psychological condition. they're suffering from childhood. (laughter) and i know this because i spent my early life as a child. i went through the whole thing. kids prosper best with a broad curriculum that celebrates their various talents, not just a small range of them. and by the way, the arts aren't just important because they improve math scores. they're important because they speak to parts of children's being which are otherwise untouched.

the second, thank you — (applause)

the second principle that drives human life flourishing is curiosity. if you can light the spark of curiosity in a child, they will learn without any further assistance, very often. children are natural learners. it's a real achievement to put that particular ability out, or to stifle it. curiosity is the engine of achievement. now the reason i say this is because one of the effects of the current culture here, if i can say so, has been to de-professionalize teachers. there is no system in the world or any school in the country that is better than its teachers. teachers are the lifeblood of the success of schools. but teaching is a creative profession. teaching, properly conceived, is not a delivery system. you know, you're not there just to pass on received information. great teachers do that, but what great teachers also do is mentor, stimulate, provoke, engage. you see, in the end, education is about learning. if there's no learning going on, there's no education going on. and people can spend an awful lot of time discussing education without ever discussing learning. the whole point of education is to get people to learn.

a friend of mine, an old friend -- actually very old, he's dead. (laughter) that's as old as it gets, i'm afraid. but a wonderful guy he was, wonderful philosopher. he used to talk about the difference between the task and achievement senses of verbs. you know, you can be engaged in the activity of something, but not really be achieving it, like dieting. it's a very good example, you know. there he is. he's dieting. is he losing any weight? not really. teaching is a word like that. you can say, "there's deborah, she's in room 34, she's teaching." but if nobody's learning anything, she may be engaged in the task of teaching but not actually fulfilling it.

the role of a teacher is to facilitate learning. that's it. and part of the problem is, i think, that the dominant culture of education has come to focus on not teaching and learning, but testing. now, testing is important. standardized tests have a place. but they should not be the dominant culture of education. they should be diagnostic. they should help. (applause) if i go for a medical examination, i want some standardized tests. i do. you know, i want to know what my cholesterol level is compared to everybody else's on a standard scale. i don't want to be told on some scale my doctor invented in the car.

"your cholesterol is what i call level orange."

"really? is that good?""we don't know."

but all that should support learning. it shouldn't obstruct it, which of course it often does. so in place of curiosity, what we have is a culture of compliance. our children and teachers are encouraged to follow routine algorithms rather than to excite that power of imagination and curiosity. and the third principle is this: that human life is inherently creative. it's why we all have different résumés. we create our lives, and we can recreate them as we go through them. it's the common currency of being a human being. it's why human culture is so interesting and diverse and dynamic. i mean, other animals may well have imaginations and creativity, but it's not so much in evidence, is it, as ours? i mean, you may have a dog. and your dog may get depressed. you know, but it doesn't listen to radiohead, does it? (laughter) and sit staring out the window with a bottle of jack daniels. (laughter)

and you say, "would you like to come for a walk?"

he says, "no, i'm fine. you go. i'll wait. but take pictures."

we all create our own lives through this restless process of imagining alternatives and possibilities, and what one of the roles of education is to awaken and develop these powers of creativity. instead, what we have is a culture of standardization.

now, it doesn't have to be that way. it really doesn't. finland regularly comes out on top in math, science and reading. now, we only know that's what they do well at because that's all that's being tested currently. that's one of the problems of the test. they don't look for other things that matter just as much. the thing about work in finland is this: they don't obsess about those disciplines. they have a very broad approach to education which includes humanities, physical education, the arts.

second, there is no standardized testing in finland. i mean, there's a bit, but it's not what gets people up in the morning. it's not what keeps them at their desks.

and the third thing, and i was at a meeting recently with some people from finland, actual finnish people, and somebody from the american system was saying to the people in finland, "what do you do about the dropout rate in finland?"

and they all looked a bit bemused, and said, "well, we don't have one. why would you drop out? if people are in trouble, we get to them quite quickly and help them and we support them."

now people always say, "well, you know, you can't compare finland to america."

no. i think there's a population of around five million in finland. but you can compare it to a state in america. many states in america have fewer people in them than that. i mean, i've been to some states in america and i was the only person there. (laughter) really. really. i was asked to lock up when i left. (laughter)

but what all the high-performing systems in the world do is currently what is not evident, sadly, across the systems in america -- i mean, as a whole. one is this: they individualize teaching and learning. they recognize that it's students who are learning and the system has to engage them, their curiosity, their individuality, and their creativity. that's how you get them to learn.

the second is that they attribute a very high status to the teaching profession. they recognize that you can't improve education if you don't pick great people to teach and if you don't keep giving them constant support and professional development. investing in professional development is not a cost. it's an investment, and every other country that's succeeding well knows that, whether it's australia, canada, south korea, singapore, hong kong or shanghai. they know that to be the case.

and the third is, they devolve responsibility to the school level for getting the job done. you see, there's a big difference here between going into a mode of command and control in education -- that's what happens in some systems. you know, central governments decide or state governments decide they know best and they're going to tell you what to do. the trouble is that education doesn't go on in the committee rooms of our legislative buildings. it happens in classrooms and schools, and the people who do it are the teachers and the students, and if you remove their discretion, it stops working. you have to put it back to the people. (applause)

there is wonderful work happening in this country. but i have to say it's happening in spite of the dominant culture of education, not because of it. it's like people are sailing into a headwind all the time. and the reason i think is this: that many of the current policies are based on mechanistic conceptions of education. it's like education is an industrial process that can be improved just by having better data, and somewhere in, i think, the back of the mind of some policy makers is this idea that if we fine-tune it well enough, if we just get it right, it will all hum along perfectly into the future. it won't, and it never did.

the point is that education is not a mechanical system. it's a human system. it's about people, people who either do want to learn or don't want to learn. every student who drops out of school has a reason for it which is rooted in their own biography. they may find it boring. they may find it irrelevant. they may find that it's at odds with the life they're living outside of school. there are trends, but the stories are always unique. i was at a meeting recently in los angeles of -- they're called alternative education programs. these are programs designed to get kids back into education. they have certain common features. they're very personalized. they have strong support for the teachers, close links with the community and a broad and diverse curriculum, and often programs which involve students outside school as well as inside school. and they work. what's interesting to me is, these are called "alternative education." you know? and all the evidence from around the world is, if we all did that, there'd be no need for the alternative. (applause)

so i think we have to embrace a different metaphor. we have to recognize that it's a human system, and there are conditions under which people thrive, and conditions under which they don't. we are after all organic creatures, and the culture of the school is absolutely essential. culture is an organic term, isn't it?

not far from where i live is a place called death valley. death valley is the hottest, driest place in america, and nothing grows there. nothing grows there because it doesn't rain. hence, death valley. in the winter of XX, it rained in death valley. seven inches of rain fell over a very short period. and in the spring of XX, there was a phenomenon. the whole floor of death valley was carpeted in flowers for a while. what it proved is this: that death valley isn't dead. it's dormant. right beneath the surface are these seeds of possibility waiting for the right conditions to come about, and with organic systems, if the conditions are right, life is inevitable. it happens all the time. you take an area, a school, a district, you change the conditions, give people a different sense of possibility, a different set of expectations, a broader range of opportunities, you cherish and value the relationships between teachers and learners, you offer people the discretion to be creative and to innovate in what they do, and schools that were once bereft spring to life.

great leaders know that. the real role of leadership in education -- and i think it's true at the national level, the state level, at the school level -- is not and should not be command and control. the real role of leadership is climate control, creating a climate of possibility. and if you do that, people will rise to it and achieve things that you completely did not anticipate and couldn't have expected.

there's a wonderful quote from benjamin franklin. "there are three sorts of people in the world: those who are immovable, people who don't get, they don't want to get it, they're going to do anything about it. there are people who are movable, people who see the need for change and are prepared to listen to it. and there are people who move, people who make things happen." and if we can encourage more people, that will be a movement. and if the movement is strong enough, that's, in the best sense of the word, a revolution. and that's what we need.

thank you very much. (applause) thank you very much. (applause)

TED英語演講稿：二十幾歲不可揮霍的光陰（附翻譯）

ted英語演講稿範文（2） | 返回目錄

when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client. i was a ph.d. student in clinical psychology at berkeley. she was a 26-year-old woman named alex. now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. now when i heard this, i was so relieved. my classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (laughter) and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. this i thought i could handle.

but i didn't handle it. with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. "thirty's the new 20," alex would say, and as far as i could tell, she was right. work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.

but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life. i pushed back.

i said, "sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."

and then my supervisor said, "not yet, but she might marry the next one. besides, the best time to work on alex's marriage is before she has one."

that's what psychologists call an "aha!" moment. that was the moment i realized, 30 is not the new 20. yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make alex's 20s a developmental downtime. that made alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. that was when i realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.

there are 50 million twentysomethings in the united states right now. we're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.

raise your hand if you're in your 20s. i really want to see some twentysomethings here. oh, yay! y'all's awesome. if you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, i want to see — okay. awesome, twentysomethings really matter.

so i specialize in twentysomethings because i believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.

this is not my opinion. these are the facts. we know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35. that means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "aha!" moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, don't panic. this crowd is going to be fine, i think. we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. we know that more than half of americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. we know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.

so when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. it's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. but what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.

but this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing. newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults." it's true. as a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.

leonard bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. isn't that true? so what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "you have 10 extra years to start your life"? nothing happens. you have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.

and then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "i know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count. i'm just killing time." or they say, "everybody says as long as i get started on a career by the time i'm 30, i'll be fine."

but then it starts to sound like this: "my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself. i had a better résumé the day after i graduated from college."

and then it starts to sound like this: "dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. i didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30."

where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that.

okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.

the post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car. it's realizing you can't have that career you now want. it's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling. too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, "what was i doing? what was i thinking?"

i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.

here's a story about how that can go. it's a story about a woman named emma. at 25, emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. she said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead. because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."

well one day, emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. she'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words "in case of emergency, please call ... ." she was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "who's going to be there for me if i get in a car wreck? who's going to take care of me if i have cancer?"

now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, "i will." but what emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared. emma needed a better life, and i knew this was her chance. i had learned too much since i first worked with alex to just sit there while emma's defining decade went parading by.

so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.

first, i told emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are. do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next. i didn't know the future of emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. i'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. that's procrastination. i told emma to explore work and make it count.

second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated. best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. new things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. but half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job. it's not cheating. it's the science of how information spreads.

last but not least, emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. i told emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and i agree with you. but grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.

so what happened to emma? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. that weak tie helped her get a job there. that job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums. she's married to a man she mindfully chose. she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, "now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."

now emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what i love about working with twentysomethings. they are so easy to help. twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west. right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in alaska or fiji. likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.

so here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. it's as simple as what i learned to say to alex. it's what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like emma every single day: thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. you're deciding your life right now. thank you. (applause)

譯文：

記得見我第一位心理諮詢顧客時，我才20多歲。當時我是berkeley臨床心理學在讀博士生。我的第一位顧客是名叫alex的女性，26歲。第一次見面alex穿著牛仔褲和寬鬆上衣走進來，她一下子栽進我辦公室的沙發上，踢掉腳上的平底鞋，跟我說她想談談男生的問題。

當時我聽到這個之後鬆了一口氣。因為我同學的第一個顧客是縱火犯，而我的顧客卻是一個20齣頭想談談男生的女孩。我覺得我可以搞定。但是我沒有搞定。

alex不斷地講有趣的事情，而我只能簡單地點頭認同她所說的，很自然地就陷入了附和的狀態。alex說：“30歲是一個新的20歲。”沒錯，我告訴她“你是對的”。工作還早，結婚還早，生孩子還早，甚至死亡也早著呢。像alex和我這樣20多歲的人，什麼都沒有但時間多的是。

但不久之後，我的導師就要我向alex的感情生活施壓。我反駁說：“當然她現在正在和別人交往，她現在和一個傻瓜男生睡覺，但看樣子她不會和他結婚的。”而我的導師說：“不著急，她也許會和下一個結婚。但修復alex婚姻的最好時期，是她還沒擁有婚姻的時期。”

這就是心理學家說的“頓悟時刻”。正是那個時候我意識到，30歲不是一個新的20歲。

的確，和以前的人相比，現在人們更晚才安定下來，但是這不代表alex就能長期處於20多歲的狀態。更晚安定下來，應該使alex的20多歲成為發展的黃金時段，而我們卻坐在那裡忽視這個發展的時機。從那時起我意識到，這種善意的忽視，確實是個問題，它不僅給alex本身和她的感情生活帶來不良後果，而且影響到處20多歲的人的事業、家庭和未來。

現在在美國，20多歲的人有五千萬，也就是15%的人口，或者可以說所有人口，因為所有成年人都要經歷他們的20多歲。我專門研究20多歲的人，因為我堅信這五千萬的20多歲的人，每一個人都應該去了解那些心理學家、社會學家、神經學家和生育專家已經知道的事實：你的20多歲是極簡單，卻極具變化的時期之一。你20多歲的時光決定了你的事業、愛情、幸福甚至整個世界。

這不是我的看法。這些是事實。我們知道80%決定你生活的時刻發生在35歲之前。這就意味著你生活的重要決定、經歷和突然的領悟，有八成是在你30多歲之前發生的。那些超過40歲的朋友不要驚慌，我想這群人會沒事的。

我們知道職業生涯的前XX年，對你將來的收入有重大影響。我們知道到了30歲的時候，超過半數的美國人會結婚，或者和未來的另一半同居或者約會。我們知道人在20多歲的時候，大腦停止第二次也是最後一次重組，以適應成年世界的快速發育階段。這就意味著不管你想怎樣改變自己，現在是時間改變了。

我們知道在20多歲的時候，性格的改變多於生命中任何時期。我們也知道女性的最佳生育時期，在28歲的時候達到頂峰，35歲之後生育變得困難。所以你的20多歲正是了解你自身和選擇的時期。

當我們想到孩童的成長時，我們都知道1-5歲，是大腦學習語言和感知的重要時期。這個時期，日常的普通生活，都會對你的未來道路影響巨大。但是我們卻很少聽到成年發展期，而我們的20多歲正是成年發展期的關鍵。

但是20多歲的人卻聽不到這些，報紙討論的只是成年年齡界線的變更。研究者稱20多歲是延長的青春期。記者就引用傻傻的外號稱呼20多歲的人，比如“twixters” (twenty-mixters)和“kidults”(kid-adults)。這是真的。作為一種文化，我們的忽視的正是對成年起到決定性作用的十年(從20歲到30歲)。

雷昂納德·伯恩斯坦說過：要想取得成就，你需要一個計畫和緊迫的時間。這是大實話啊!所以當你拍著一個20多歲的人的腦袋，跟他說，“你有額外的XX年去開始你的生活”，你覺得這改變了什麼?什麼都沒改變。你只是奪走了那個人的緊迫感和雄心壯志，絕對沒有改變什麼。

然後每天，那些聰明有趣的20多歲的人，就像你們和你們的兒子女兒一樣，走入我的辦公室開始說：“我知道我的男朋友對我不夠好，但是我們的關係不算數。我只是在消磨時光而已。”或者說“每個人都告訴我，只要能在30歲的時候開始我的事業，這就足夠了。”

但是實際聽上去卻是：“我馬上就要三十了，卻根本就沒有東西展示。我只是在大學畢業時，有過一份最漂亮的簡歷。”或是這樣：“我20多歲時的約會，就像找凳子。每個人都繞著凳子跑，隨便玩一玩，但是快30的時候，就像音樂停止了，所有人開始坐下。我不想成為那唯一站著的人，所以有時候我會想我和我丈夫之所以會結婚，是因為在我30歲的時候，他是當時離我最近的那張凳子。”

20多歲的人吶，千萬不要這樣做。這個做法聽起來有點輕率，但是不要犯錯，因為風險很高。當很多事都被擠到你30多歲的時候，就會有巨大壓力，在很短的時間內快速啟動一項事業，挑一個城市，找到伴侶，生兩三個孩子。這些事大多是不能同時完成的，正如研究表明，在30歲的時候，要想工作、生活一步到位，難度很高，壓力很大。

千禧年後的中年危機並不是一輛紅色跑車。而是意識到你不能擁有你想擁有的事業，意識到你不能擁有你想要的孩子，或者給你的孩子添個兄弟姐妹。太多30多歲40多歲的人，看看他們自己，看看我，坐在屋子裡談論自己的20多歲，“我當時都乾么了?我當時都想啥了?”我想改變現在20多歲人的所思所為。

這裡我想講個故事說明問題。這個故事是關於名叫emma一個女人。她25歲的時候，走入我的辦公室，因為用她自己的話說，她有自我認識危機。她說她也許想從事關於藝術或者娛樂的工作，但是她還沒決定。所以取而代之的是，她花了過去幾年的時間當服務員。為了減少開銷，她和她的男朋友同居，一個脾氣暴躁而無志向的人。

正如她悲慘的20多歲，她早年的生活更加悲慘。她經常在談話過程中哭泣，努力鎮定下來後說“你沒辦法選擇你的家庭，但是你可以選擇你的朋友。”有一天，emma走進來，她雙手抱頭於膝蓋，然後抽泣了幾乎一個小時。她剛買了一個新的通訊錄本子，然後花了一整個早上的時間，填寫她的聯繫人信息。當她填到“萬一發生緊急情況，請聯繫…”的時候，她沒有任何人可填。

她幾乎崩潰地看著我並說，“如果我被車撞了，誰會在那裡?假如我得癌症了，誰會在那裡?”在那種情況下，我花了好大力氣才忍住說“我會。”emma所需要的，並不是理療師所真正關心的。她需要一個更好的生活，我知道這是她的機會。自alex開始，我從這份工作上學到了很多，不能只是坐在那裡看著emma十年黃金定型期白白消逝。所以接下去的幾個星期幾個月，我告訴emma三件事，所有20多歲的男生女生都值得聽一聽。

首先，我告訴emma忘掉她的自我認識危機，去獲得一些身份認定的資本。

身份資本是指做增加自我價值的事。為自己下一步想成為的樣子，做一些事一些投資。我不知道emma的工作將來是什麼樣的，也沒人知道將來的工作是什麼樣的，但是我知道：身份資本會創造出更多身份資本。

現在是時候去嘗試你想要的海外工作、實習或者新起點。我不是輕視20多歲的自我探索，而是輕視那些隨便玩玩無所謂的探索，或者從某種意義上說那不是探索。那是拖沓!我告訴emma去探索工作，讓她的探索有所回報。

第二，我告訴emma不要高估自己的朋友圈。

好朋友會載你去機場，而和“志同道合的朋友”瞎混的20多歲的人，他們的交際圈、知識面、思維方式、說話方式和工作層面都被限制住了。新的資本或者新的約會對象，往往是從內部交際圈之外來的。新的事情來自我們所謂的“遠的關係”，我們朋友的朋友的朋友。

沒錯，半數20多歲的人，處在失業和半失業的狀態。但是另外一半的人卻不是這樣的，“遠的關係”正是你融入一個新的群體的紐帶。有半數的新工作從來不公示出來，所以聯絡你鄰居的老闆，是你找到那些未公示工作的方式。這不叫作弊，這是信息傳播的科學方式。

最後一點也很重要，emma相信你無法選擇你的家庭，但是你可以選擇你的朋友。可這只是她成長時期的狀況。

作為一個20多歲的人，emma很快會與某人為伴組建她自己的新家庭。我告訴emma現在就是你選擇你家庭的時候。現在你也許會想相比於20歲，25歲或30歲時組建家庭會更好。我同意你的看法。但是當你facebook上的朋友，都開始步入婚姻殿堂時，你隨便抓一個人一起生活、睡覺，絕對不是組建家庭的過程。

經營你婚姻的最佳時間，是你還沒結婚的時候，這意味要像你為了工作一樣精心謀劃。選擇你的家庭，是有意識地去選擇你想要的人和事，而不是為了結婚或者消磨時光，任意選擇一個正好選擇你的人。

emma發生了什麼變化呢?

我們翻了一遍通訊錄，她發現她原來的舍友的表妹，在另一個州的一家藝術博物館工作。這層遠關係幫助她在那裡得到一份工作。這份工作給她一個理由離開她那同居的男友。現在五年過去了，她是一名博物館特別活動策劃者。她和一個她用心選擇的男人結婚了。她愛她的事業，她愛她的新家，她寄給我一張賀卡寫道，“現在緊急聯繫欄似乎不夠填呢。”

emma的故事聽起來簡單，這正是為什麼我愛和20多歲人打交道。幫助20多歲的人很容易。20多歲就像離開洛杉磯飛往西部某處的飛機，起飛之後，一點小小變化，都會影響到它最終將降落在阿拉斯加還是斐濟。

同理，在你21歲，25歲甚至29歲的時候，一次好的談話、好的休息、好的ted演講，能在未來的幾年甚至幾代人的時間裡，帶來巨大的影響。因此這個想法值得傳達給每一個你所認識的20多歲人。這想法就像我後來告訴alex的話一樣簡單。

我每天都對像emma這樣的20多歲的人說：30歲不是一個新的20歲，所以規劃好你的成年生活，獲得一些身份認同資本，利用你的遠關係，選擇你的家庭。不要被你所不知道的，從未做過的事所禁錮。你現在的作為決定著你的人生。

TED英語演講稿：墜機讓我學到的三件事

ted英語演講稿範文（3） | 返回目錄

災難到來時，我們會發現看似普通的日常生活是多么可貴。XX年1月15日，全美航空1549號班機迫降紐約哈德遜河，ric elias 就坐在第一排的位置。聽他分享在“人生最後一刻” 學到了什麼。

imagine a big explosion as you climb through 3,000 ft. imagine a plane full of smoke. imagine an engine going clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. it sounds scary.

想像一個大爆炸，當你在三千多英尺的高空;想像機艙內布滿黑煙，想像引擎發出喀啦、喀啦、喀啦、喀啦、喀啦的聲響，聽起來很可怕。

well i had a unique seat that day. i was sitting in 1d. i was the only one who can talk to the flight attendants. so i looked at them right away, and they said, "no problem. we probably hit some birds." the pilot had already turned the plane around, and we weren't that far. you could see manhattan.

那天我的位置很特別，我坐在1d，我是唯一可以和空服員說話的人，於是我立刻看著他們，他們說，“沒問題，我們可能撞上鳥了。” 機長已經把機頭轉向，我們離目的地很近，已經可以看到曼哈頓了。

two minutes later, 3 things happened at the same time. the pilot lines up the plane with the hudson river. that's usually not the route. he turns off the engines. now imagine being in a plane with no sound. and then he says 3 words-the most unemotional 3 words i've ever heard. he says, "brace for impact."

兩分鐘以後，三件事情同時發生：機長把飛機對齊哈德遜河，一般的航道可不是這樣。他關上引擎。想像坐在一架沒有聲音的飛機上。然後他說了幾個，我聽過最不帶情緒的幾個，他說，“即將迫降，小心衝擊。”

i didn't have to talk to the flight attendant anymore. i could see in her eyes, it was terror. life was over.

我不用再問空服員什麼了。我可以在她眼神里看到恐懼，人生結束了。

now i want to share with you 3 things i learned about myself that day.

現在我想和你們分享那天我所學到的三件事。

i leant that it all changes in an instant. we have this bucket list, we have these things we want to do in life, and i thought about all the people i wanted to reach out to that i didn't, all the fences i wanted to mend, all the experiences i wanted to have and i never did. as i thought about that later on, i came up with a saying, which is, "collect bad wines". because if the wine is ready and the person is there, i'm opening it. i no longer want to postpone anything in life. and that urgency, that purpose, has really changed my life.

在那一瞬間內，一切都改變了。我們的人生目標清單，那些我們想做的事，所有那些我想聯絡卻沒有聯絡的人，那些我想修補的圍牆，人際關係，所有我想經歷卻沒有經歷的事。之後我回想那些事，我想到一句話，那就是，“我收藏的酒都很差。” 因為如果酒已成熟，分享對象也有，我早就把把酒打開了。我不想再把生命中的任何事延後，這種緊迫感、目標性改變了我的生命。

the second thing i learnt that day - and this is as we clear the george washington bridge, which was by not a lot - i thought about, wow, i really feel one real regret, i've lived a good life. in my own humanity and mistaked, i've tired to get better at everything i tried. but in my humanity, i also allow my ego to get in. and i regretted the time i wasted on things that did not matter with people that matter. and i thought about my relationship with my wife, my friends, with people. and after, as i reflected on that, i decided to eliminate negative energy from my life. it's not perfect, but it's a lot better. i've not had a fight with my wife in 2 years. it feels great. i no longer try to be right; i choose to be happy.

那天我學到的第二件事是，正當我們通過喬治華盛頓大橋，那也沒過多久，我想，哇，我有一件真正後悔的事。雖然我有人性缺點，也犯了些錯，但我生活得其實不錯。我試著把每件事做得更好。但因為人性，我難免有些自我中心，我後悔竟然花了許多時間，和生命中重要的人討論那些不重要的事。我想到我和妻子、朋友及人們的關係，之後，回想這件事時，我決定除掉我人生中的負面情緒。還沒完全做到，但確實好多了。過去兩年我從未和妻子吵架，感覺很好，我不再嘗試爭論對錯，我選擇快樂。

the third thing i learned - and this's as you mental clock starts going, "15, 14, 13." you can see the water coming. i'm saying, "please blow up." i don't want this thing to break in 20 pieces like you've seen in those documentaries. and as we're coming down, i had a sense of, wow, dying is not scary. it's almost like we've been preparing for it our whole lives .but it was very sad. i didn't want to go. i love my life. and that sadness really framed in one thought, which is, i only wish for one thing. i only wish i could see my kids grow up.

我所學到的第三件事是，當你腦中的始終開始倒數“15，14，13”，看到水開始湧入，心想，“拜託爆炸吧!” 我不希望這東西碎成20片，就像紀錄片中看到的那樣。當我們逐漸下沉，我突然感覺到，哇，死亡並不可怕，就像是我們一生一直在為此做準備，但很令人悲傷。我不想就這樣離開，我熱愛我的生命。這個悲傷的主要來源是，我只期待一件事，我只希望能看到孩子長大。

about a month later, i was at a performance by my daugter - first-grade, not much artistic talent... yet. and i 'm balling, i'm crying, like a little kid. and it made all the sense in the world to me. i realized at that point by connecting those two dots, that the only thing that matters in my life is being a great dad. above all, above all, the only goal i have in life is to be a good dad.

一個月後，我參加女兒的表演，她一年級，沒什麼藝術天份，就算如此。我淚流滿面，像個孩子，這讓我的世界重新有了意義。噹噹時我意識到，將這兩件事連線起來，其實我生命中唯一重要的事，就是成為一個好父親，比任何事都重要，比任何事都重要，我人生中唯一的目標就是做個好父親。

i was given the gift of a miracle, of not dying that day. i was given another gift, which was to be able to see into the future and come back and live differently.

那天我經歷了一個奇蹟，我活下來了。我還得到另一個啟示，像是看見自己的未來再回來，改變自己的人生。

i challenge you guys that are flying today, imagine the same thing happens on your plane - and please don't - but imagine, and how would you change? what would you get done that you're waiting to get done because you think you'll be here forever? how would you change your relationtships and the negative energy in them? and more than anything, are you being the best parent you can?

我鼓勵今天要坐飛機的各位，想像如果你坐的飛機出了同樣的事，最好不要-但想像一下，你會如何改變?有什麼是你想做卻沒做的，因為你覺得你有其它機會做它?你會如何改變你的人際關係，不再如此負面?最重要的是，你是否盡力成為一個好父母?

thank you.

謝謝。

TED英語演講稿：二十歲是不可以揮霍的光陰

ted英語演講稿範文（4） | 返回目錄

5天內超過60萬次瀏覽量的最新ted演講“二十歲一去不再來”激起了世界各地的熱烈討論，資深心理治療師 meg jay 分享給20多歲青年人的人生建議：(1)不要為你究竟是誰而煩惱，去賺那些說明你是誰的資本。(2)不要把自己封鎖在小圈子裡。(3)記住你可以選擇自己的家庭。

meg說：“第一，我常告訴二十多歲的男孩女孩，不要為你究竟是誰而煩惱，開始思考你可以是誰，並且去賺那些說明你是誰的資本。現在就是最好的嘗試時機，不管是海外實習，還是創業，或者做公益。第二，年輕人經常聚在一起，感情好到可以穿一條褲子。可是社會中許多機會是從遠關係開始的，不要把自己封鎖在小圈子裡，走出去你才會對自己的經歷有更多的認識。第三，記住你可以選擇自己的家庭。你的婚姻就是未來幾十年的家庭，就算你要到三十歲結婚，現在選擇和什麼樣的人交往也是至關重要的。簡而言之，二十歲是不能輕易揮霍的美好時光。”

這段關於20歲青年人如何看待人生的演講引起了許多ted冬粉的討論，來自tedx組織團隊的david webber就說：meg指出最重要的一點便是青年人需要及早意識到積累經驗和眼界，無論是20歲還是30歲，都是有利自己發展的重要事。”

when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client. i was a ph.d. student in clinical psychology at berkeley. she was a 26-year-old woman named alex.

記得見我第一位心理諮詢顧客時，我才20多歲。當時我是berkeley臨床心理學在讀博士生。我的第一位顧客是名叫alex的女性，26歲。

now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. now when i heard this, i was so relieved. my classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (laughter) and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. this i thought i could handle.

第一次見面alex穿著牛仔褲和寬鬆上衣走進來，她一下子栽進我辦公室的沙發上，踢掉腳上的平底鞋，跟我說她想談談男生的問題。當時我聽到這個之後鬆了一口氣。因為我同學的第一個顧客是縱火犯，而我的顧客卻是一個20齣頭想談談男生的女孩。我覺得我可以搞定。

but i didn't handle it. with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.

但是我沒有搞定。alex不斷地講有趣的事情，而我只能簡單地點頭認同她所說的，很自然地就陷入了附和的狀態。

"thirty's the new 20," alex would say, and as far as i could tell, she was right. work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.

alex說：“30歲是一個新的20歲”。沒錯，我告訴她“你是對的”。工作還早，結婚還早，生孩子還早，甚至死亡也早著呢。像alex和我這樣20多歲的人，什麼都沒有但時間多的是。

but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life. i pushed back. i said, "sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy." and then my supervisor said, "not yet, but she might marry the next one. besides, the best time to work on alex's marriage is before she has one."

但不久之後，我的導師就要我向alex的感情生活施壓。我反駁說：“當然她現在正在和別人交往，她現在和一個傻瓜男生睡覺，但看樣子她不會和他結婚的。” 而我的導師說：“不著急，她也許會和下一個結婚。但修復alex婚姻的最好時期是她還沒擁有婚姻的時期。”

這就是心理學家說的“頓悟時刻”。正是那個時候我意識到，30歲不是一個新的20歲。的確，和以前的人相比，現在人們更晚才安定下來，但是這不代表alex就能長期處於20多歲的狀態。

that made alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. that was when i realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.

更晚安定下來，應該使alex的20多歲成為發展的黃金時段，而我們卻坐在那裡忽視這個發展的時機。從那時起我意識到這種善意的忽視確實是個問題，它不僅給alex本身和她的感情生活帶來不良後果，而且影響到處20多歲的人的事業、家庭和未來。

現在在美國，20多歲的人有五千萬，也就是15%的人口，或者可以說所有人口，因為所有成年人都要經歷他們的20多歲。

如果你現在20多歲，請舉手。我很想看到有20多歲的人在這裡。喔，很好。如果你和20多歲的人一起工作，你喜歡20多歲的人，你因為20多歲的人輾轉難眠，我想看到你們。很棒，看來20多歲的人確實很受重視。

因此我專門研究20多歲的人，因為我堅信這五千萬的20多歲的人，每一個人都應該去了解那些心理學家、社會學家、神經學家和生育專家已經知道的事實：你的20多歲是極簡單卻極具變化的時期之一。你20多歲的時光決定了你的事業、愛情、幸福甚至整個世界。

這不是我的看法。這些是事實。我們知道80%決定你生活的時刻發生在35歲之前。這就意味著你生活的重要決定、經歷和突然的領悟，有八成是在你30多歲之前發生的。

people who are over 40, don't panic. this crowd is going to be fine, i think. we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. we know that more than half of americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.

那些超過40歲的朋友不要驚慌，我想這群人會沒事的。我們知道職業生涯的前XX年對你將來的收入有重大影響。我們知道到了30歲的時候，超過半數的美國人會結婚或者和未來的另一半同居或者約會。

we know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35.

我們知道人在20多歲的時候大腦停止第二次也是最後一次重組，以適應成年世界的快速發育階段。這就意味著不管你想怎樣改變自己，現在就是時間改變了。我們知道在20多歲的時候，性格的改變多於生命中任何時期。我們也知道女性的最佳生育時期在28歲的時候達到頂峰，35歲之後生育變得困難。

so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options. so when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. it's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become.

所以你的20多歲正是了解你自身和選擇的時期。當我們想到孩童的成長時，我們都知道1-5歲是大腦學習語言和感知的重要時期。這個時期，日常的普通生活都會對你的未來道路影響巨大。

but what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development. but this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing. newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.

但是我們卻很少聽到成年發展期，而我們的20多歲正是成年發展期的關鍵。但是20多歲的人卻聽不到這些，報紙討論的只是成年年齡界線的變更。

researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults." it's true. as a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.

研究者稱20多歲是延長的青春期。記者就引用傻傻的外號稱呼20多歲的人，比如“twixters” (twenty-mixters)和“kidults”(kid-adults)。這是真的。作為一種文化，我們的忽視的正是對成年起到決定性作用的十年(從20歲到30歲)。

然後每天，那些聰明有趣的20多歲的人就像你們和你們的兒子女兒一樣，走入我的辦公室開始說：“我知道我的男朋友對我不夠好，但是我們的關係不算數。我只是在消磨時光而已。”或者說“每個人都告訴我只要能在30歲的時候開始我的事業，這就足夠了。”

but then it starts to sound like this: "my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself. i had a better résumé the day after i graduated from college." and then it starts to sound like this: "dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.

但是實際聽上去卻是：“我馬上就要三十了，卻根本就沒有東西展示。我只是在大學畢業時有過一份最漂亮的簡歷。” 或是這樣：“我20多歲時的約會就像找凳子。每個人都繞著凳子跑，隨便玩一玩，但是快30的時候就像音樂停止了，所有人開始坐下。

i didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30." where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that. okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high.

我不想成為那唯一站著的人，所以有時候我會想我和我丈夫之所以會結婚，是因為在我30歲的時候，他是當時離我最近的那張凳子。在場的20多歲的人吶，千萬不要這樣做。這個做法聽起來有點輕率，但是不要犯錯，因為風險很高。

when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.

當很多事都被擠到你30多歲的時候，就會有巨大壓力，在很短的時間內快速啟動一項事業，挑一個城市，找到伴侶，生兩三個孩子。這些事大多是不能同時完成的，正如研究表明，在30歲的時候要想工作生活一步到位，難度很高，壓力很大。

千禧年後的中年危機並不是一輛紅色跑車。而是意識到你不能擁有你想擁有的事業，意識到你不能擁有你想要的孩子，或者給你的孩子添個兄弟姐妹。

too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, "what was i doing? what was i thinking?" i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.

太多30多歲40多歲的人看看他們自己，看看我，坐在屋子裡談論自己的20多歲，“我當時都乾么了?我當時都想啥了?”我想改變現在20多歲人的所思所為。

這裡我想講個故事說明問題。這個故事是關於名叫emma一個女人。她25歲的時候走入我的辦公室，因為用她自己的話說，她有自我認識危機。她說她也許想從事關於藝術或者娛樂的工作，但是她還沒決定。所以取而代之的是她花了過去幾年的時間當服務員。

because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."

為了減少開銷，她和她的男朋友同居，一個脾氣暴躁而無志向的人。正如她悲慘的20多歲，她早年的生活更加悲慘。她經常在談話過程中哭泣，努力鎮定下來後說“你沒辦法選擇你的家庭，但是你可以選擇你的朋友。”

有一天，emma走進來，她雙手抱頭於膝蓋，然後抽泣了幾乎一個小時。她剛買了一個新的通訊錄本子，然後花了一整個早上的時間填寫她的聯繫人信息。當她填到“萬一發生緊急情況，請聯繫...”的時候，她沒有任何人可填。

she was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "who's going to be there for me if i get in a car wreck? who's going to take care of me if i have cancer?" now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, "i will."

她幾乎崩潰地看著我並說，“如果我被車撞了，誰會在那裡?假如我得癌症了，誰會在那裡?” 在那種情況下，我花了好大力氣才忍住說“我會。”

but what emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared. emma needed a better life, and i knew this was her chance. i had learned too much since i first worked with alex to just sit there while emma's defining decade went parading by.

emma所需要的並不是理療師所真正關心的。她需要一個更好的生活，我知道這是她的機會。自alex開始，我從這份工作上學到了很多，不能只是坐在那裡看著emma十年黃金定型期白白消逝。

so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.

所以接下去的幾個星期幾個月，我告訴emma三件事，所有20多歲的男生女生都值得聽一聽。

首先，我告訴emma忘掉她的自我認識危機，去獲得一些身份認定的資本。身份資本是指做增加自我價值的事。為自己下一步想成為的樣子做一些事一些投資。

i didn't know the future of emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try.

我不知道emma的工作將來是什麼樣的，也沒人知道將來的工作是什麼樣的，但是我知道：身份資本會創造出更多身份資本。現在是時候去嘗試你想要的海外工作、實習或者新起點。

i'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. that's procrastination. i told emma to explore work and make it count.

我不是輕視20多歲的自我探索，而是輕視那些隨便玩玩無所謂的探索，或者從某種意義上說那不是探索。那是拖沓!我告訴emma去探索工作，讓她的探索有所回報。

second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated.

第二，我告訴emma不要高估自己的朋友圈。

best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle.

好朋友會載你去機場，而和“志同道合的朋友” 瞎混的20多歲的人，他們的交際圈、知識面、思維方式、說話方式和工作層面都被限制住了。新的資本或者新的約會對方往往是從內部交際圈之外來的。

new things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. but half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job. it's not cheating. it's the science of how information spreads.

新的事情來自我們所謂的“遠的關係”，我們朋友的朋友的朋友。沒錯，半數20多歲的人處在失業和半失業的狀態。但是另外一半的人卻不是這樣的，“遠的關係”正是你融入一個新的群體的紐帶。有半數的新工作從來不公示出來，所以聯絡你鄰居的老闆是你找到那些未公示工作的方式。這不叫作弊，這是信息傳播的科學方式。

最後一點也很重要，emma相信你無法選擇你的家庭，但是你可以選擇你的朋友。可這只是她成長時期的狀況。作為一個20多歲的人，emma很快會與某人為伴組建她自己的新家庭。

i told emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and i agree with you. but grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress.

我告訴emma現在就是你選擇你家庭的時候。現在你也許會想相比於20歲，25歲或30歲時組建家庭會更好。我同意你的看法。但是當你facebook上的朋友都開始步入婚姻殿堂時，你隨便抓一個人一起生活、睡覺絕對不是組建家庭的過程。

the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.

經營你婚姻的最佳時間是你還沒結婚的時候，這意味要像你為了工作一樣精心謀劃。選擇你的家庭是有意識地去選擇你想要的人和事，而不是為了結婚或者消磨時光，任意選擇一個正好選擇你的人。

emma發生了什麼變化呢?我們翻了一遍通訊錄，她發現她原來的舍友的表妹在另一個州的一家藝術博物館工作。這層遠關係幫助她在那裡得到一份工作。這份工作給她一個理由離開她那同居的男友。

now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums. she's married to a man she mindfully chose. she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, "now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."

現在五年過去了，她是一名博物館特別活動策劃者。她和一個她用心選擇的男人結婚了。她愛她的事業，她愛她的新家，她寄給我一張賀卡寫道，“現在緊急聯繫欄似乎不夠填呢。”

emma的故事聽起來簡單，這正是為什麼我愛和20多歲人打交道。幫助20多歲的人很容易。20多歲就像離開洛杉磯飛往西部某處的飛機，起飛之後，一點小小變化都會影響到它最終將降落在阿拉斯加還是斐濟。

likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come. so here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know.

同理，在你21歲，25歲甚至29歲的時候，一次好的談話、好的休息、好的ted演講，能在未來的幾年甚至幾代人的時間裡帶來巨大的影響。因此這個想法值得傳達給每一個你所認識的20多歲人。

it's as simple as what i learned to say to alex. it's what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like emma every single day: thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. you're deciding your life right now. thank you.

這想法就像我後來告訴alex的話一樣簡單。我應該每天都對像emma這樣的20多歲的人說：30歲不是一個新的20歲，所以規劃好你的成年生活，獲得一些身份認同資本，利用你的遠關係，選擇你的家庭。不要被你所不知道的，從未做過的事所禁錮。你現在的作為決定著你的人生。謝謝。

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