yesterday once more
安徽省巢湖市槐林中學高三(1)班 王娟娟
as though it was yesterday when i was an innocent girl. but everything has gone by so quickly. i have grown up, though i don't want to . there are only three months left , i am going to face the college entrance examination. once upon a time, it was a number worth expecting. but now how cruel it seems! i'm like a butterfly struggling to fly higher, no matter how high the price is ! the process of study used to be endless for me but nowadays the judgement approaches. although this moment is terrifying me, i wouldn't like to give up! i know it is the darkness before dawn and insisting on is the best choice! i'm always believing there is a world belonging to myself and it is i who have the right to decide how big it can be ! what's more, in the near future, i believe i can own what i have been longing for as long as i don't quit on the road to success!
指導教師: 安徽省巢湖市槐林中學 陳恩友
批 改 老 師oscar評分92分級別優秀評語
批改：
1. as though it was yesterday when i was an innocent girl. but everything has gone by so quickly. 首先，中間句號用法錯誤，應該是逗號；其次因為前邊有as though(連詞使用錯誤)，所以後邊不能再用but;最後，介詞by多餘。
2. there are only three months left , i am going to face the college entrance examination. 這是一句話 ，所以中間應該有連詞。
3. once upon a time, it was a number worth expecting. 本句話不知道作者想表達什麼。
4. although this moment is terrifying me, i wouldn't like to give up! 應該是give it up.
評析：
本文從總體上講，非常流暢，尤其是後半部分，前邊出現了一些語法錯誤，當然，非常能體會到作者在聯考臨近時的心情，也祝願作者能夠實現自己的夢想—考上自己理想的大學！