My mother has no idea that her ninetieth birthday is coming up. She has no notion of the time of day, the day of the week. the season of the year, the year of the century. No notion of the approaching millennium. And no idea any longer, who I am. Her forgetting of me happened just a few months ago, after I had been traveling for more than a month and hadn't been to see her. When I came back, she asked me if I were her niece, l said no, I was her daughter. "Does that mean I had you?" she asked. 1 said yes. "Where was I when l had you?" she asked me. I told her she was in a hospital in Far Rockaway. New York. "So much has happened to me in my life." she said "You can't expect me to remember everything."
我媽媽不知道，她的第九十個生日快到了。她沒有一天的時間概念，一天的一周。今年的賽季，這一年的世紀。沒有接近千年的概念。不知道任何更長的時間，我是誰。她忘記了我就在幾個月前，我已經超過一個月沒有見到她。當我回來時，她問我，如果我是她的侄女，我說不是，我是她的女兒。”這是否意味著我擁有你?”她問。1說是的。”我在那裡當我把你?”她問我。我告訴她，她是在醫院在法爾羅卡韋。紐約。”這么多已經發生在我身上。”她說，“你不能指望我記得一切。”
My mother was once a beautiful woman, but all her teeth are gone now. Toothless. No woman can be considered beautiful. Whenever I visit her in the nursing home, she is sitting at the table in the common dining room, her head in her hands, rocking. Medication has eased her anxiety, but nothing moves her from her stupor except occasional moments of fear, too deep for medication. This is a room that has no windows, that lets in no light, in which an overlarge TV is constantly blaring, sending images that no one looks at where the floors are beige tiles, the walls cream colored at the bottom, papered halfway up with a pattern of nearly invisible grayish leaves. Many of the residents sit staring, slack-jawed, open mouthed. I find it impossible to imagine what they might be looking at.
我的母親曾經是一個美麗的女人，但她所有的牙齒現在消失了。無牙。沒有女人可以被認為是美麗的。每當我訪問她在療養院，她坐在桌子的餐廳，她的頭在她的手中，搖擺。藥物緩解她的焦慮，但沒有從她的動作她木僵除偶爾時刻恐懼，太深的藥物。這是一個房間，沒有窗戶，讓沒有燈，其中一個超大電視不斷，傳送圖像，沒有人看的是米色瓷磚地板，牆壁底部的奶油色，糊一半的幾乎看不見的灰色的葉子圖案。許多居民坐在盯著，目瞪口呆，張大了嘴巴。我很難想像他們會在。
When I walk into the dining room on the day of my mother's birthday, I see that she has already been served lunch. The staff has forgotten to hold it back. Though I told them a week ago that I would be providing lunch. She hasn’t touched anything on her tray except a piece of carrot cake, which she holds in her hands. The icing is smeared on her hands and face. I don't want my friends to see her smeared with icing, so I wet a paper towel and wipe her. This fills me with a terrible tenderness, recalling, as it does. a gesture I have performed for my children. As I wipe my mother's face, I see that her skin is still beautiful I hold her chin in my hand and kiss her forehead. I tell her it's her birthday, that she's ninety years old. "How did that happen?" she asks. "I can't understand how that could happen."
當我走進餐廳在母親生日那天，我看到她已經吃午飯。工作人員把它忘了。雖然一個星期前，我告訴他們，我會提供午餐。她沒有碰過她的托盤除一塊胡蘿蔔蛋糕，這是她在她的手中持有。糖霜塗在她的手和臉。我不希望我的朋友看到她塗上結冰，所以我濕紙巾擦。這讓我很溫柔，回憶，它。一種姿態，我有我的孩子。我擦媽媽的臉，我看到她的皮膚依舊美麗我托起她的下巴在我的手，吻她的額頭。我告訴她，這是她的生日，她九十歲了。”那是怎么發生的?”她問。”我不明白怎么會發生這樣的事。”
l have brought her a bouquet of crimson, yellow, and salmon-pink snapdragons. She likes the flowers very much. She likes the name. "Snapdragons. It seems like an animal that's going to bite inc. But it's not an animal, it's a plant. That's a funny thing,"
我送她一束紅色，黃色，和粉紅色金魚草。她非常喜歡花。她喜歡這個名字。”金魚草。這似乎是一個動物會咬但它不是動物，它是一種植物。這是一個有趣的事情，”
I have bought food that I hope will please my mother, and that will be easy for her to eat: orzo salad with little pieces of crayfish cut into it, potato salad, small chunks of marinated tomatoes. I have bought paper plates with a rust-colored background, upon which are painted yellow and gold flowers and blue leaves.
我已經買了，我希望請我的母親的食物，這將很容易給她吃沙拉：將小龍蝦切成塊，土豆沙拉，醃番茄塊。我有一個鐵鏽色的背景買了紙盤子，在被漆成了黃色和金色花和藍色的樹葉。
My friends Nola and Gary come for my mother's birthday. When we are about to leave, I tell my mother that I'm going on vacation, mat I won't see her for three weeks, that 1 am going to the sea. "How will I stand that, how will I stand that's she says, but I know that a minute after I’m gone she'll forget I was there.
我的朋友諾拉和加里為我媽媽的生日。當我們正要離開時，我告訴我媽媽我要去度假，那我就三個星期不見她，凌晨1點去海。”我如何能承受，我將如何的立場，她說，但我知道我走了她會忘記我在那裡過了一分鐘。